A New Beginning
At the end of every year, everyone is given the chance to start fresh with a new beginning…
New Year’s
They look at their past [either whole or half -heartedly] and decide what was good, what was bad, and what should just be plain out forgotten.
2011…
…was one of the most difficult years of my life.
It started off with me telling myself I was going to “find myself” studying abroad. I was going by myself, with classmates I had never actually met before. My friends all remained in NYC. It was one of the most difficult tests of self I had ever experienced. Yes, I explored 8 countries and 30 cities of Europe, but I also left my entire support system behind in NYC. But it wasn’t only a test of self, it was a test of my ability to be a good friend. My best friend going on 7 years together now, has also had probably the most difficult and emotional year she’s ever had in her life and the fact that she needed me while I was gone broke my heart because I couldn’t help her as much as I wanted to from Europe. However, the trust that we had in each other and the fact that I would stop thinking about whatever I was doing just to make sure she was alright was proof of how much I valued her friendship and how much we could depend on each other and make it out alive through the good times and the many many bad.
That was only the first 1/3 of the year…the summer too was a struggle. There is so much that I could go into but at the same time, I don’t even have words to describe it.
Then we have the fall semester of 2011…by far the worst semester academically that I have ever been faced with. I have never struggled so much in my classes, but I have also never taken all “professional/grad” classes. It was my first professional semester of pharmacy school…and it kicked me where it hurts. I tried so hard, yet it was not enough and I know deep down, that I can go harder, hit the books, and do more. Granted, this would leave me with absolutely no social life and I’m not quite sure how well I would handle that, but sometimes you have to do what is necessary.
2012…
So what does this year have in store for me?
I am ready for that fresh start. I am ready to take on those academics with a preparation and with the experience that I lacked before. I want to make changes that will not only benefit me now, but benefit me in the long run. Sure, there will be sacrifices, but those must be made to achieve success. If you really want something, you have to work for it.
I will have to…
…crack down on the academics
…apply what little confidence I have to my social insecurities
…learn to maintain stable relationships with friends and not dependent ones
…try to be a better friend by not letting my emotions get the best of me
…guide my sister from wandering in the wrong direction
…work my a** off because I need a job and to get my food in the pharmacy door
…learn that I can’t always have someone around when I’m lonely
I feel like I’ve grown up immensely over the past year. I have grown in ways I didn’t know possible, emotionally, intellectually, socially…it really makes you think about things in a different perspective and makes you feel like you need to do something to better yourself…
I will be a better person…because it is 2011 no more.
Bring on the New Year.
